A Curmudgeon's Garden of Love by Jon Winokur PDF

By Jon Winokur

ISBN-10: 0453006779

ISBN-13: 9780453006774

A compilation of grouchy and hilarious quips and quotations that could make an enticing bedside spouse for a person who has suffered the discomfiture of being in or out of affection. Such outspoken iconoclasts as Sigmund Freud and Woody Allen are quoted on themes akin to relationship and marriage.

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There are the Gardens far away, Where little Foreign Kittens play, And those queer specks of black and brown Are naughty cats that live in Town. 19 The Kitten's Garden of Verses And there among the tulips red, Where I may never lay my head, I see the Cruel Gardener hoe The baby weeds that may not grow. Now I climb down—“Oh dear,“—I mew, “Which end goes first—what shall I do? “ 20 The Kitten's Garden of Verses The Whole Duty of Kittens When Human Folk at Table eat, A Kitten must not mew for meat, Or jump to grab it from the Dish, (Unless it happens to be fish).

And over all the Ground is spread A Rug of Emerald sweet Most deep enough to hide my head And tickly to my feet. And here‘s the Cow, calm-eyed stands she, The Genie of the Jug, Beneath the Feather-Duster Tree, And eats the Emerald Rug. 23 The Kitten's Garden of Verses The Puppy The Puppy cannot mew or talk, He has a funny kind of walk, His tail is difficult to wag And that‘s what makes him walk zigzag. He is the Kitten of a Dog, From morn till night he‘s all agog— Forever seeking something new That‘s good but isn‘t meant to chew.

28 The Kitten's Garden of Verses He smiles into the Hayloft dim And the brown Hay smiles back at him, And when he strokes the Earth‘s green fur He makes the Fields and Meadows purr. His face is one big Golden smile, It measures round, at least a mile— How dull our World would be, and flat, Without the Golden Pussy Cat. “ 30 The Kitten's Garden of Verses A Kitten‘s Fancy The Kitten mews outside the Door, The Cat-bird in the Tree, The Sea-mew mews upon the Shore, The Catfish in the Sea. The Emu with his feathers queer Is mewing in the Zoo.

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A Curmudgeon's Garden of Love by Jon Winokur

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